Now let me tell you all - the real story. St. Patrick was a masacreing asshole. Today, we'd lable him a spree killer. That's right folks. Not a Saint at all - not one to be Canonized - no, a Spree Killer. It's because of him that England was able to denigrate the fine culture that was Erin. It's because of him that the Potato Famines started. Yes, it's because of him that I have to see entirely so much green, which happens to typically be my favorite color, to the point where it makes me sick every single year around this time. Luck's got nothing to do with it, ladies and germs. There's no pot at the end of the rainbow on St. Patrick's Day. The parades are cool, I admit, but let's face it - they're no Macy's Thanksgiving Day parades. Where's the Woody Woodpecker float on St. Paddy's - I ask you? I, for one, will be wearing Navy Blue come the 'morrow just to spite this stupid holiday. Who's with me? Huh? Who's with me?